Mainlining Fear

It takes practice.

Sometimes fear sneaks up on you.

Like a frog in boiling water. Not obvious at first. It starts slowly and then becomes overwhelming. Unless you turn off the stove.

Or in this case, stop the fear.

But fear has its place.

It’s a warning. It highlights danger or marks a comfort zone boundary.

Fear is also uncomfortable.

It can freeze you. Or push you into rash decisions just to escape.

Lately, fear’s been on my mind.

Blame the algorithms.

YouTube’s, to be exact.

I fell down an economic rabbit hole.

Now my feed is stuffed with fear-based clickbait.

Mornings are fine. I avoid social media. Focus on my day. Get things done.

Evenings? That’s when it creeps in.

I check YouTube. Scroll a bit.

Suddenly, there it is. Low-grade fear.

It builds until the world is ending.

How it ends? Depends on the rabbit hole. Economy. Politics. If I followed other doomsday topics, I’m sure I’d find new ways for it all to go wrong.

Time to reset. Clear my YouTube history. Probably my subscriptions too. Take a break.

It doesn’t take long for the algorithm to reload my fears.

I’m glad I didn’t grow up with a phone glued to my hand. Can’t imagine what my mental health would’ve looked like.

Even now, I’d do better with longer breaks. Hours aren’t enough. Days would be smarter.

YouTube’s my vice.

Mainlining fear like a junkie.

So not healthy.

Am I addicted to fear?

Not even real fear. Just a string of “what ifs.”

Who knows what will happen until it happens?